I have so much I’d like to say, and I haven’t found the right tools to express it with. I see people with such great artistic talents and they make it look so easy, but they aren’t exactly saying much. Maybe I try too hard. This is probably my main struggle at the present. I’m too conscious of things and it’s only when I’ve let my guard down by some means or another that I can finally express myself and connect with people. I’m getting better, but I still care what others think..not all, only people I care about.
Recently I figured out why it bothers me so much when people express supernatural beliefs. It’s because reality and existence and life are so fucking absurd and beautiful that to say someone snapped their fingers and created it is just plain insulting. It’s like they didn’t even think about it, and yet they shrug it off as not important, something they know about. All the elements in the universe were created in stars, were fused out of protons which are composed of even smaller particles. These elements then massed together to form planets, and on at least one of them an ocean of molecules formed. These molecules were rolled and tossed and swirled about by the currents and patterns eventually emerged created complex arrangements of these compounds. These compounds became more and more complex until the basis of life was formed, and through the process of natural selection learned to take advantage of other life forms. This continued until a mass of matter was able to ponder this whole process, to gaze at the universe and try to understand it. We are all made of stars and everything we know is powered by stars and the laws of the universe. How could anyone shrug this away to some finger snapping? People seems so caught up in the trifles of their life that they don’t see the complexity and beauty of what’s around them and it just enrages me. What good is existence if not to investigate it?
